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Gutted. The footballers' adjective of choice, and the one I have used most liberally in the last few weeks to describe the feeling of not quite getting through to the finals of a live comedy competition.
That is to say, getting very close, final 32 close, but falling at the final hurdle, to use another overused sporting metaphor.
That is to say, writing a lot. And for nothing, because none of it will be staged (not for this, anyhow.)
Damn this genre and its need to be produced to mean anything. At this rate, I'm going to start writing bloody poetry and publishing it on here and then you will all be very sorry indeed. (You really will. I'm terrible at poetry.)
Do I deal with losing out well? No. In this instance I bloody do not. For a number of reasons:
I worked my arse off. I had a really good script. And there was some shenanigans relating to the way it all happened that I am too disheartened to go into, but let's just say it didn't work out as I would have hoped.
So this has been disappointing.
There's something very personal about writing, and when it gets rejected, it's hard not to feel it personally. And when you're emotionally involved with your writing, this is especially the case.
And you have to be emotionally involved with writing if it's going to be any good, don't you? At least a bit. Otherwise why are you writing at all? Why bother if it doesn't have some connection, however small, however tenuous, to some important feeling or thought or moment you have or have had in your life that means something.
That's what I think anyway.
But maybe it's just about writing more funny lines, and that's where I went wrong.
And of course, if you get too emotionally involved, when stuff doeesn't work out, it feels like you've been kicked repeatedly in the kidneys, and that's not great.
And that's the good news.
Not really! There is actually some proper good news. I will write about it imminently...
4 comments:
"There's something very personal about writing, and when it gets rejected, it's hard not to feel it personally."
I feel it even at work. I got nagged into writing a leaflet only to find out after it is nearly ready to go to the publications department that it might not get published now.
Must be worse if you actually care about the piece personally so I feel for you. x
Thanks Claire. I like to think I have a reasonably thick skin when it comes to writing, but this scenario got to me, I must say.
Sorry to hear about the work thing. Send an appropriately abusive email to the dept concerned, that should sort 'em out.
:)
The road to success as a writer is made of broken glass and you have to walk it barefoot. Having said that, here's my advice: try writing a novel. The probability of getting publsihed has got to be higher than the chances of getting a comedy script produced.
Here's the thing: all the things that make it quite frustrating to start out writing scripts - the fact that you rely on other people to make it happen and it's essentially meaningless until it's actually put on - are sort of all the things that make it brilliant and exciting too.
That is, having other people take what you write, and adding to it and making it come alive.
But obviously not ruling out writing a novel one day either. Guaranteed route to fame and fortune, I understand... ;)
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