Something a bit embarrassing occurred last night. And I've spent my entire day trying not to think about it. And as generally happens when you try not to think about something, it kept popping into my head.
As a special bonus, I also had some flashbacks to Very Embarrassing Moments from the past. As if my inner psyche decided that this would be a good time to remind myself of all the shit, stupid things I've ever done. Thanks psyche!
So, here they are, some of those embarrassing things...
1. What I did in my friend Natalie's garage at that student party.
I didn't even know myself what had happened for a year. I was too embarrassed to ask. I was rightly too embarrassed to ask. It was far worse than I imagined.
2. What I said to Neil Hannon, lead singer of the Divine Comedy, when I hung around after a gig at Leeds Met.
In my defence, he was only 5 ft 4 or something.
3. The awful, wine-fuelled weirdness that happened in that bar in that town in the East Midlands. Note to self: don't get involved with middle-aged am dram chaps in small towns. Awfulness on lots of levels.
4. The white wine incident at the Soho private club I accidentally got into.
5. ...and what I said to one of the founders of Comic Relief on the same night.
6. Oh, and actually, the taxi thing on the way home from that. That was a bad night.
7. What I said to the very senior manager at the bona fide glitzy awards do. While his girlfriend was standing next to him.
8. And what I told my flatmate at the same do, and forgot I'd said it, and said it again the next day. Twice the embarrassment! Brilliant.
Man, I'm crap at stuff.